


two-in-one special.

by razussy



Category: Hatchetfield Universe - Team StarKid
Genre: Early Christmas Gift, F/F, Gift Fic, Oneshot, Other, bea is hf bee, cw pot mention, danny is smoke club boy, family hcs, idk how to tag this, non ship, platonic, sof is smoke club girl, uhh shenanigans?, zoya here u go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:27:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28205337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/razussy/pseuds/razussy
Summary: schaeffer spends time with melissa for christmas ; sof comes home with a surprise for bea.
Relationships: Hatchetfield Bee & Smoke Club Girl (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals), Melissa & Colonel Schaeffer (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	two-in-one special.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Zoya113](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoya113/gifts).



> HEYYY listen i am impatient and i wanted to give this out early bc idk if this week i'll be too busy to put it out on time so uM here u go mx zoya pls forgive me if there is any inaccurate interactions or portrayals /hj /lh

schaeffer stood in front of the apartment door, staring down at the fifth new door knob of the year. it was nearing noon and she wanted to spend a couple of hours with melissa; she already surprised her sister and brother-in-law early that morning for christmas, so why did she feel a sense of dread at the moment while standing there?  
it’s because she knew she’d get a gift or two from the bubbly girl. unlike her, carol and ken know schaeffer does not like receiving gifts - it was awkward, it was pointless (especially if she couldn’t use the gift), and overall it was annoying to her when others got offended by her blunt reactions.

does that mean she doesn’t give gifts for people herself? well yes, but technically no; she will not confess to taking her time to find something a friend or family member of hers would appreciate owning. in fact, she had the tactic to hide the present as if it was a bomb being planted, and hope that the person will find it once she is gone (and, in the meantime, they forget about her getting it for them). she already planted the items she got mister and mrs. davidson, all she had to do was wait until melissa left the room to do her thing then dip from town.  
she was invited for dinner at her sister’s, but she much rather head back to peip with the ones she works with before it gets too late.

taking in a slow breath, her eyes closed as she did to recollect her vibes, then brought up a tense fist. the knocks were too aggressive but a good indicator on who the visitor was, this proven true as melissa flung open the door with a dorky grin on her expression. she was wearing deer ears and antlers, along with an ugly christmas sweater that had a paw pattern all around it; her face is painted with makeup that was inspired off of rudolph, and for someone who disliked the feminine social role, the colonel thought it was decent.  
“you look ridiculous, kid,” stated schaeffer, as she strutted past her and pulled off her scarf. carol insisted for her to borrow it for the winter; since she didn’t want to worry her sister, she took it.

“hey! is that really the first thing you’re going to say to me?” huffed melissa, as she closed her door and crossed her arms. “merry christmas, miss colonel! thank you for not breaking and entering.”  
“consider that a gift from me to you,” replied schaeffer, as she beelined for the kitchen so she could make herself some tea. what she just said made herself smirk, finding it funny she has put up this personality trait that she isn’t expected to give away presents. it fit how she was as a person well, so it didn’t bother her much at all. as she rummaged through the cold mugs in the cupboard, she heard the girl step up behind her.

she didn’t turn around, simply continuing what she was doing as she felt the presence behind her. after the short beats of silence, schaeffer felt something press against her lower back slowly; her confusion and curiosity getting the best of her, she turned her head to peek at what she was doing. in melissa’s hands was a box wrapped in red and green paper, a pretty silver ribbon around it and topped with a white bow.  
pretending she did not see it, the colonel turned her focus back on opening the container that held her favorite tea. this choice to ignore the obvious gift meant for her, melissa pouted and repeated the action.

“melissa…” she mumbled, putting the lid back on the container then pushed it back into its proper place on the counter. the feeling she previously had when standing outside the door returned, a mix of anger lacing itself throughout her nerves. when she says she hates receiving gifts, she means it.  
“i just can’t not get you something to show my appreciation! i know mister davidson said you’re one of those kinds of people that refuses to accept presents, but please let me do this,” said melissa, as her glasses slid down the bridge of her nose. her tone sounded a bit desperate - the younger girl wanted to show her platonic love for her since she never usually does.

melissa’s love language is gift giving and meme sharing, with the occasional displays of physical affection, if she was comfortable enough. if any of these were to be rejected, she’d promptly be in a mood for a week straight, her cat the only being she would be around. so as the situation she was currently in unfolded itself, her fear found itself getting cozy in her chest, and a sick feeling in her stomach joined the party.  
sighing, schaeffer turned around and snatched the box from her hands, though the angry gesture itself was not intentional. “if i open this, can you make me my tea?”  
“yes, yes, of course!” she nodded quickly then reached for the mug and tea bag on the counter.

watching her move around the kitchen for a moment, schaeffer let out a sigh and looked down at the present, feeling aggravated. she didn’t want to seem ungrateful, that’s another issue that ticks her off; all she wanted was to see her friend and do their normal routine without any surprises. knowing melissa was expecting to hear the paper be torn, she did just that, tossing the wrapping paper on the floor without care. the gift in her hands was a box, tapped down with possible smaller things held inside it. the colonel caressed it with her thumb and felt a stare fall onto her person.  
“i’m guessing i should investigate what is inside.” she stated as she set it down on the counter.

schaeffer took out a pocket knife and flipped the blade open, a gasp coming from melissa as she did not expect the tool to be on her, then slit the tape that kept the folds closed. setting aside the weapon, she hesitantly flipped open the box and bowed forward in the slightest; her eyes casted downwards, trying to see if she could just keep everything in the box. inside was a small jar of paper folded into star shapes, all different shades of yellow, along with a tiny baggie that held a friendship bracelet with beads that spelt out ‘yeehaw’, but what really interested her was the thin photo album under the other two. taking it out of the box, she ran light but rough fingertips against the cover of it.

silently, she opened to the first page and read the few words written on it:  
‘for my dear but scary buddy, schaeffer! some highlights of this year :)’  
licking her thumb, schaeffer flipped to the next page, and saw a number of different things taped and written on both sides. it was little items from january, consisting of a pressed flower, an old movie ticket, and a printed photo of them out in the park on a picnic. under these things were dates that these events took place, and besides them were short summaries on what happened and how much melissa liked the experience. she skimmed over the bold words, not paying attention to the kettle whistle or tea aroma - she was far more invested in the memories that were put directly in front of her.

“here’s your tea. i know you like milk in it, but i know sometimes i get the amount wrong, so-”  
“this is thoughtful, kid.” she cut melissa off, still scrolling through the pages and reading what was written on them. sometimes she’d smirk due to remembering the days, others chuckle at the way she worded the summaries; each time, melissa caught it, and she’d get excited to the point of subconsciously bouncing up and down on her feet. once schaeffer was near the end, she closed it and hid it away in the box with the other gifts, then flipped the folds back down.  
“so that’s done? let’s go watch the cowboy kids movie, i want to see sheriff woody again.”  
“yes! i’ll go put that on,” clapped melissa, as she shuffled away to the living room and plopped herself on the couch.

even if she didn’t verbally thank her, melissa knew schaeffer liked the gift and would more than likely hold onto it. for the rest of the time spent together, they watched the second toy story once again and went on long tangents about if including buzz, a futuristic space character, was a good or bad choice on the writer’s part - of course, it is easy to tell which stance the two took and argued about, but it was all in good fun.  
in that time, though, melissa had paused to take a minute and think: “i wonder what others in town are doing right now? are they also in a heated topic about the choices in personality and career for fictional characters?” she made a mental note to text her friends and ask about how everyone’s holidays went.

-

“c’mon, guys, my sis has been texting me and asking me if i am going to be back home before dinner!” growled sof, as she kept her hands in the packets of her jean jacket. she was trying to walk back to her house with the smoke club, but there was a reason they were lagging so far behind; she had used her own personal funds, meant for pot, to buy bea christmas gifts. it isn’t too uncommon for the twins to go without presents during the holidays thanks to their mom, but this year she wanted that to change for her sibling - she works her ass off in school and gets nothing for it besides a possible dead end career she may or may not want to go into.  
“we’re sorry we all are not athletic! jeez, what’s the rush, anyway? ain’t your mom gonna throw a hissy fit and say you make her look bad for doing this?” asked danny, who was carrying a bag.

“shut the fuck up, danny, if sof says she wants to get there sooner than later, let’s just help her out,” elbowed lex, who was also carrying a bag. these were two out of the six gifts sof had bought for bea, the other four being carried by ethan; deb would’ve been there, but she bailed after spending all morning with her mother then going over to alice’s to have dinner there.  
“ugh, even on christmas, you guys treat me like shit.” he sighed dramatically, a snicker coming from ethan as he shook his head at the lankier boy. all sof did was keep in front of the group and ignore her phone buzzing in her pocket - she didn’t want to concern her sister by not replying to her messages, but the surprise won’t be as grand if she knows she is on the way.

walking along the snowy sidewalk, sof heard a voice behind her begin to speak. “we would’ve been there by now if my old cruiser wasn’t in the shop, sorry gang,” apologized ethan, as he chewed on the toothpick in his mouth. between the four of them, only he had his license, while lex had her permit, sof was working for hers, and danny just didn’t have either; yet even if the club didn’t care for the law regarding permits and age, there were no extra cars to take.  
“it’s fine, ethan, we’re close- let’s go!” she exclaimed, as she began to sprint in the direction they were all heading.  
“h-hey, asshole!” stuttered danny, as he broke out in a run to chase after her, tightening his hand around the bag’s handles.

laughing, lex glanced back at ethan to give him the warning she was going to leave him, then proceeded to do just that. since he knew he’d get murdered if he dropped any of the four wrapped gifts in his arms, the tall teen decided it was best to keep walking - that didn’t mean he wouldn’t make fun of danny later when he saw the boy slip on the ice.  
sof ignored the empty driveway as she ran up it, stopping by the front door to catch her breath and wait for the others. god, this is why she doesn’t participate in gym class; she ignored danny’s complaining and the other’s snickering as she nervously adjusted her jacket. their mom wasn’t home, so there won’t be any bitching, but she was worried on how bea will react to this.

“hey, kid, what’s up?” asked ethan, as he noticed the change in behavior from the tiny stoner.  
“ah, nothing- don’t want her crying ‘cuz she didn’t want me getting her stuff.” she replied before grabbing onto the doorknob, twisting it in hopes it was unlocked, but unfortunately when her twin is left alone, she always locks it.  
“i doubt she’ll do that, you know how she is. she’ll appreciate it,” said lex with a reassuring smile. “and if she doesn’t, well, we can always beat her up.” she continued on, adding a playful punch against her shoulder. classic lex, pretending she doesn’t have a caring side to her character. with that, sof took a quick, deep breath and crouched down to the doormat; she lifted it up and grabbed the key that was hidden under it, then stood back up with confidence.

the door unlocked, she pushed it open and announced her presence, mentioning extras had tagged along. a smell from the kitchen filled her senses like a wave crashing into rocks, and sof immediately went there, catching her sister in the middle of making their dinner. ever since they were getting in their double digits, bea learned how to cook for the two of them whenever their mom would come home late from… work.  
“there you are! didn’t you get my texts? you know that it scares me half to death when you don’t reply!” exclaimed bea, not even looking her way just yet, as she was trying to add in the perfect amount of seasonings to the dish.  
“sorry, sorry, i was busy.” the more rebellious sister said, heaving herself up onto the countertop.

“well next time try to give me a-” she turned her head and paused her own sentence, seeing the other three holding up the gifts in their hands. bea didn’t want to assume, so she simply shifted her gaze at sof, eyebrows raised. rolling her eyes, sof kicked her legs; “you’re allowed to think it’s for you, ‘cuz it is. merry christmas, sis.” she had waited for some type of reaction from her, maybe a crying or questioning session, but instead bea told them to wait there and scurried off to a nearby hallway.  
“running away is not what i expected her to do,” commented ethan, while setting down the four boxes on a counter sof was sitting on. that must be how the entire group felt as they stood there in silence.

once she returned to the kitchen, the aroma of the food being cooked had been mixed with something entirely different. “i, uh… perhaps, sort of, kind of borrowed a little bit of money from mom’s purse and tracked down your dealer to get you more pot. a-and i also got cleaner for your bong because it looked filthy, and i don’t want you getting sick!” explained bea, as she handed the baggie of weed to sof, who appeared rather shocked.  
“wait, you-” she started but was cut off by danny.  
“a goodie-goodie like you stole cash from your mom and bought drugs?! how the hell did you even find our dealer?” he practically screeched, causing ethan and lex to slap his shoulders for nearly causing them to go deaf.

“it’s not a big deal! it isn’t important! it does not matter!” she said as she turned to the stove and turned off the one she was using. “i knew you needed more since i heard you on the phone talking to deb about it while i was brushing my teeth, so i decided to do it for you. i mean- it was an interesting experience, so i think it’s fine.” after the last words were stated, bea turned to the three and asked if they were staying for dinner. ethan and lex looked at each other, asked if hannah could join if a friend dropped her off, then agreed they’d stay; danny awkwardly declined and explained his family wanted him there, but he definitely would have stayed if he was able to.  
“hey, i hope you know we aren’t eating until you open these bad boys,” spoke up sof, who hopped off the counter and shoved the bag and bottle of cleaner in her pockets.

bea had been putting some of the food on a few plates when she said this. “if hannah is joining us, i’d like her to open the wrapped ones for me. i don’t think she gets to do it often, right?” she glanced at lex for clarification, to which she nodded to confirm this as a fact. “but sof, i really appreciate you doing that for me. you didn’t have to, you know i’m used to mom never doing much for us.”  
“i know, it just… ugh, it aggravates me,” started sof before dropping it, aware she could complain about it whenever her friends were gone. even if they do let her rant about her mother, she didn’t want them to physically witness the sisters have a heartfelt conversation. her twin gave her a small smile and handed her the finished plate.

“merry christmas, sof.” she said as she let her take the plate and turn to prepare the rest of them for their guests. with a little chuckle, sof grabbed a spoon and scooped up whatever meal was put in front of her.  
this year didn’t turn out too bad for the twins; they got gifts for each other, they had dinner with friends, and they avoided their drunken mother successfully. the two wrapped up the night by playing board games and drinking peppermint cocoa they received as a gift from alice, since she bought too much and didn’t know who else to give it to. despite their situation, bea and sof worked things out to the best of their ability, and were quite happy in the end.

**Author's Note:**

> happy holidays part three bc i love writing fictional characters celebrate things when said things are happening irl


End file.
